I’d say John Howard was an obsession, but as much as he’s fucking up the country, and as much as I despair of us ever being able to rectify the damage his politics have done, I just don’t have it in me to hate him. He’s too pathetic to hate. I can’t even get up a quick obsession about him – the man’s so void that he’d come crawling to apologise if he ever heard about it. And if you don’t believe that someone that short would ever have to crawl, check out his record on international and industrial relations.

Of course, mention Jeff Kennett to me and watch my face go red and I struggle to draw breath before I scream. I have no problem admitting that obsession. Hell, even my mother’s heard that he bashes Flick.